LoveWorksStill

I dreamed of it since I was a little girl!  The idea of becoming someone special to some very important people danced around in my mind. Everywhere I turned, I found myself staring at all of those hands and feet.  The clean and the snotty….paws of children! I wanted to be a mommy.

People have a problem with talking.  Some people talk too much while others don’t say enough.  You hear all of these wonderful, heartfelt stories of the joys of parenthood. I thought I knew everything there was to parenting. The milestones like babbling, learning to read, and even watching your child walk across the stage as she is handed her diploma, yes, I thought I was finally ready!  

BUT NO ONE TOLD ME all of the in-between parts of it.  It’s as if people decided to mute themselves and eluded the challenging parts.

For example, the doctors asked me to depict this beautiful birth plan while I was pregnant with my first child.  I even put at the bottom of my letter that nothing should be changed during my birthing process.   No one told me that my birth plan REALLY would be a joke.  In September 2014, I gave birth to my daughter. Simultaneously, I gave birth to her twin which was my second book.  Both of them caused me to have an emergency cesarean.  The nurses knew to keep me heavily medicated.  Between the incision of my stomach and final edits and submission of the book,  the pain was unbearable. 

 A month later, I was invited to participate in a book signing with my co-author.  Since I was a nursing mom, leaving my daughter 3 hours behind and being afraid of milk dripping from my dress, 

 Since I was a nursing mom, I was unsure if I should bring her with me or leave her at home.  I was actually really afraid of milk dripping from my dress as I was signing someone’s book!  I’m sure no one wanted a “milk-a-graph”.  I was encouraged to bring her.  Everyone said, “Oh, she will be fine.  You don’t need to worry!” 

BUT NOBODY TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO BRING AN EXTRA JAZZY OUTFIT FOR HER JUST IN CASE A NURSING BABY DOES WHAT A NURSING BABY DOES!  All I will say is that as I was ready to walk out and grace the stage with my little one, I heard something rumbling down my dress to the floor!  I was not the one with butterflies that day!  My daughter “LET IT GO” as Elsa would say as the milk she had just finished drinking ran straight through her body and escaped from the other end. NO ONE TOLD ME THAT MY CHILDREN’S BODILY FLUIDS WOULD STICK closer than a brother. 

Now I have two children ages 7 and 4.  People still tell me to this day, “that’s a great age gap between your two children.”  As much as I really wanted to believe them, the older they get, the more I question if this will ever be my reality.  No one ever told me that they would be sweet little angels while the car was in park. BUT AS SOON AS YOU PUT YOUR FOOT ON THE GAS, all you will hear is, “JEN!! STOP!! CALEB, YOU’RE TOUCHING ME! NOPE! No one ever told me. I am looking at you sideways if that person is you who never told me.

I must admit that my husband and I are always strategizing about how to make car riding more pleasant for everyone.  His idea is to just tell them to look out their own windows.  I will let you know when that works!  Don’t say that NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU.  

While I am mentioning my loving husband, there are one or two times a year that he turns into my third child.  I would just rather call his mama to come over!  Taking care of him while he is sick is something else!  Everyone who quotes wedding vows says “in sickness and in health”,  but no one told me that HE WOULD BE THE BIGGEST BABY IN THE HOUSE!  When I say that he will walk around the house like “awwww” “ooooo my head”… “Jenae rub my back, put garlic in my socks” PLEASE get yourself together. I was not prepared for this. I barely get a peaceful nap when I am not sick so imagine what it’s like when I am!  NO… ONE… EVER… TOLD… ME!

No one ever told me that bedtime would feel like a bidden war or that my name would totally change from Jenae to full-time mommy -even sometimes to children who are not mine.  No one ever told me that I would roll over to the side of my bed to find that there will be two eyes staring at me in the dark like we are in a horror movie!  I have learned how to control some of my quick reflexes–to their benefit! The many questions of WHY!! You need to brush your teeth, WHY?  You need to put on a jacket. WHY? Please come here so I can talk to you. WHY??  WHY WHY WHY did no one ever tell me!

No one ever told me that parenting was like being a google user.  The user agreement gives them a license to watch and listen to everything you do and say. Then you find yourself praying they won’t give that information to a third party without your consent. No one ever told me these things.

Everyone told me that my children would be the best of me. However, no one ever told me that my children would even sometimes be the worst of me.  My children copy everything I do! My daughter talks to my son like she is his mama.  As I am listening to her, I am wondering who she gets those tones and words from?  Don’t look at me, I’m not the one.  I am comfortable being in the background, but NO ONE TOLD ME that my son would yell, scream, and sing his way into people’s hearts at the wrong time while kissing every stranger in sight!  Talk about embarrassing and scary times we are living in!  I can’t make this stuff up. 

There is still so much for me to learn about being a parent. Whether you are a parent or you aren’t, there is never a dull moment whenever you are around children.  But just for clarification, though no one ever told me, DID THEY TELL YOU?

Until next time, #loveworkswhenourwordsdont! 💚

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