Children have developmental needs that parents, mommies especially, wish didn’t involve the fun, messy, and dreaded sticky play-dough! First timers are all for it until the children get to the independent, “test the boundary” stage. After having my two children along with teaching many other children, the store bought play-dough drys and crumbles too fast for my liking.
The other day, I was determined to make homemade play-dough. It had been years since I watched someone make it and with my skills in the baking area, I knew I wanted some support. A close friend of mine and I made a date of it to just talk and laugh.
We measured. We poured. We stirred. We heated. And we even pressed and kneaded. I recall the moment I finished my first batch of playdough and was rolling it with the spoon to take it out of the pot, my friend grabbed it with her bare hands and started manipulating it. Her words were similar to “My hands are used to the heat”. Those words meant more to me than she may have realized.
With the journey that I have been on this year, I can no longer count on my hand how many times someone has told me that I am resilient. They are amazed at my fearlessness. And honestly, I have been too.
To consider fearlessness, I also had to consider why fear held me so long. Where did it truly start? Why did I question every move I made, every choice that others thought were better for me, and stall on things that I knew I desired for myself? I totally forgot about the first five years of my life on purpose because it has never been easy to understand. The beautiful thing is that it made me who I am. It made me consider others’ emotions and intentions a lot more. But it also made me fearful about making mistakes.
Much of my childhood was rooted in fear. The parts that people do know about my past are not all that created this fear that I held not only in my hand, but in my mind. I have had many conversations lately with others about the four year old girl who had to sit on a couch for over four hours straight with fear to even ask to go to the bathroom. And if you know me well, I have to go often….. like every fifteen minutes often! Imagine what holding it felt like. I was forced into maturity in certain parts of my life that left me not being able to develop an early understanding of confidence and security.
Someone once told me that she had the total opposite experience as a young child. She was fearless and had no reason to walk in fear of the future until something unraveled her family. The place where she felt the most secure and stable. Fearlessness became a distant place in her life that she has no idea she is traveling back to. I smile with anticipation because there will come a time in all of our lives where we will have a choice to give it everything we have. The concern that I rest on is if the choice to jump into fearlessness will be taken.
I listen to my daughter and son ask for things and express their thoughts in a way that sounds and feels so much different than when I was their age. It makes me proud. It also scares me. My hands used to be sensitive to fearlessness until I rolled and kneaded it fresh out of the pot enough times to increase my tolerance. Being fearful is easy. However, it can and will leave you with regrets.
The popular phrase, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen” has some truth. Although, if you ever want to handle heated moments with resilience, you must stay in there to develop tough skin! But I have one more question for you to consider. If faith is bigger than fear, is it ever really fearlessness?
Our past has created pieces of who we are, but our future can be shaped and molded by the opportunities we surround ourselves with. I can walk away from 2021 saying that I had many wins. I also had some losses. My choices helped to develop tough skin in a world where people can and will say no more than yes.
Stop being scared of the heat. Understand your heat tolerance and decide what to do next. Year 2022 is finally here! Let’s make it count.
Until next time, #loveworkswhenourwordsdont! 💚
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LoveWorksStill 
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