LoveWorksStill

Recently, I went to pick up my daughter from an event.  I knew she wouldn’t be ready to go, but also not wanting to be the last one there either.  I tried to be just a little early to see her in her element of enjoying friends.  And indeed she was having a blast.

About five minutes later, she finished her event and walked off to stand near others.  It is normal for people to look others up and down, but what happened next really caused me to reflect back to my childhood.

The child put his/her hand over his/her mouth and started pointing towards my daughter’s leg.  I wondered what it was.  The child jostled another person and pointed again to show what caught his/her attention. It dawned on me that the child was pointing at my daughter’s special toe.  Mommy Jenae had to watch these children making fun of her daughter and trying not to make a scene or hastening her to leave immediately.  I had to HOLD IT!  

My whole heart was screaming, “That is my child who you are making fun of.  My child who almost didn’t make it out of my womb.  My child whose toe did not grow like everyone else’s but yet it is alive and well.  My child!”   I was not okay but trying my best to stay calm as I watched for five minutes of her being picked at without her knowledge.  I was thankful that she never turned around to see this conversation happening.  Couriousety is normal.  Children don’t always know how to express their questions in a way that doesn’t belittle another.

My years in grade school were challenging from the first time I stepped into first grade.  All of my brother’s friends made it clear that I was a misfit.  It was so bad that I don’t really remember making a true friend until middle school.  I didn’t know why people didn’t want to be around me.  I spent my time outside by myself as I remixed songs and talked to my pets like they were people.  There were so many negative things that I had to deal with at home and even school brought so much anxiety!  No one ever really knew because I kept it to myself.

Our children are impressionable.  They absorb what is presented to and around them.  I have these conversations with her about how her friends treat her brother and how she should always look out for his best interest too unless he is not being kind to someone.  He is still young, so he is being groomed in knowing how to play with others.  Either way, she knows to never speak down about him even if it is true.

One thing I love about my daughter is that she is willing to try new things in new places.  However, she is typically the only little girl who has her skin color and finds it hard sometimes making true friendships because of it.  The ones she does make, I remind her how they should be treated and how true friends will treat her.  

As I talked to my mom about it, she told me that she asked my daughter if she wanted her toe to grow out like everyone else’s.  Her response was no.  She said she loved her toe just the way it was.  There is nothing that she can do to change her “up toe”.  Not only that, but when she was younger and attention was brought to her toe, she and I discussed her birth story and how even if her foot was immobile, I was thankful for her life.  God graced her to not only have life, but a foot with all working toes!  We were all made different for a reason and those who truly love her will love her toe as well. 

Children will not always be nice.  Adults will not always be nice.  No one is perfect.  However, it was very tough for me to see my little girl talked about.  We will be making something amazing out of this situation.  So I smile knowing that she loves who she is and doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable about showing her feet.  

I’m sure you are probably wondering what her toe looks like too, but if you ever get the privilege to see it, remind her of how beautiful it is.  And if you ever have been embarrassed about any part of your make-up, just comment and help me navigate this imminent conversation a little further with my child.  Please and thank you!   

There are some things you should hold.  There are definitely other things you should talk about.  I choose to use her toe as a way to bring good news about a life who gets to live!  And she is my beautiful daughter.  

Until next time, #loveworkswhenourwordsdont! 💚

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