LoveWorksStill

There is something beautiful about a child showing love in a way we could have never imagined before. I have this picture on my desk that I look at often of this little girl with two pom pom ponytails dressed in a peach shirt and pink pants. She is holding on to the middle of the walking cane as a larger hand guides the top of it. This little human is my daughter walking her PaPa, my husband’s father, down the walkway that leads into the house. I often wonder what was going on in her mind at the time because I am pretty sure I know what her PaPa was thinking. Was she aware of the joy he felt knowing that he had her in his life? Was he truly aware of the unconditional love that she had for him? I don’t know for certain, but I can tell you this picture has meant something to me since I took it! That is obvious since I printed it out, right?

The other week, I was talking to my daughter about a movie we had just went to see, The Little Girl Who Believed in Miracles. Someone recommended that I take her to see it. Since she loves asking for a “date night” with her mommy, I did a spontaneous thing and went that night. What a beautiful movie it was from beginning to end. It reminded me of the power of praying for others and trusting God even when others doubt what He said.

After the movie, we came home. I thought it would be good to talk about what we saw and to hear what she thought about the movie. She mentioned that she hears God talk to her a lot. I went further into the conversation, only to see where she was with her feelings about not seeing PaPa right now. Not only do I not hear her talk about him much, my husband is not very vocal about it either unless someone else brings it up. But at this moment, I didn’t want to wonder or keep going not knowing if she was really okay. So I asked her a question, “Do you think about PaPa often?”

Her body began getting fidgety as if she had to go to the restroom. She was trying to jump out the car on me, but I needed to hear her heart! Her response was that she did miss him a lot. She thinks of him all the time but doesn’t want to make us sad. So instead, she refrains from bringing his name up. Then I asked another question, “What do you do when you think about PaPa?” “I sing happy songs. And when I hug my (stuffed animal) dog that I named after PaPa, it feels like he is hugging me back!!” is exactly what she said.

Wow. This stuck in mind for a second because how could a six year old know to do that? How could a six year old be mature enough to manage sadness with joy? I just didn’t understand how to take this response. We went in the house, and I shared the conversation with my husband right after my daughter ran in to tell him how great the movie was. Even mentioned PaPa a few times within those five minutes of me trying to pull myself together. Reality is that I have yet to really know if I have cried my tears or even processed this transition in life. I had to text my mom to work through what I was feeling. What we discovered was profound.

When I was a little girl, I dealt with a lot of trauma. Some were life threatening and a lot of it was emotional processing. My days were spent alone outside riding my bike, making songs, remixing songs, and even digging in the yard. When I was in the house, I was drawing, talking to myself about my feelings, and singing some more. My parents had to even tell me to stop talking to myself when I was supposed to be asleep! Guess what I was actually doing? I was working through my emotions that could have caused me to be someone totally different than I am today if I didn’t have those outlets. Oh, how quickly do we forget how our past connects to our future! My daughter is more like me than I realized.

A few hours later, she followed me in the bathroom as I was getting ready for bed to tell me something. She said that earlier that week, she was blowing bubbles with a neighbor’s granddaughter. The granddaughter told her that she hoped a bubble made it up to Heaven where her grandmother was. My daughter said, “I told her that we have something in common because my Papa is up there too!” The joy that filled my heart in that moment was priceless. The compassion that my daughter has displayed over her six years of life gives me encouragement each and every day. Even in moments when someone may not be treating her right, she always considers their feelings before she responds.

The point today is that I urge you to consider life the way my daughter does. Do your best to love the older generation with unconditional love. Help them walk their path while they are still alive. Remember you are not too young or too old to make a difference in someone’s life. Though I believe that my daughter, especially, gave her PaPa a reason to not give up four years ago after a leg amputation, I also believe that she is destined to inspire others she comes in contact with over her lifetime. I have witnessed her compassion already with people of all ages. I will continue to consider my youthful habits as my husband and I cultivate this gift of love in her.

So……. Have you ever found yourself in a moment where a child made you reflect on the way you process grief? How has this changed you? Click here because I would love to know!

Until next time, #loveworks whenourwordsdont! 💚

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